This Candle Smells Like PROZZÄK

Before the metaverse, before AI pop stars, before people even questioned why two cartoon dudes were making absolute bangers—there was Prozzäk. A pair of animated heartbreak survivors who somehow understood your deepest emotions better than your actual friends, they gave us dancefloor melancholy at its finest.

With Eurotrash beats, angsty-but-fun lyrics, and a music video aesthetic that screamed "what if a sad guy traveled the world in search of love, but make it Tech Deck?", Prozzäk somehow made existential loneliness feel like a party.

Light this candle and relive the days when late-night MuchMusic marathons, MSN flirting, and pretending to understand Prozzäk’s weirdly deep lore were your full-time job.

Choose Your Signature Scent:

• Vanilla Coconut – Sweet, smooth, and effortlessly comforting—this scent is like a perfectly whipped vanilla sundae with a tropical twist. A warm, creamy blend of classic vanilla and coconut, it’s soft yet playful, wrapping you in cozy nostalgia with just a hint of adventure.

• Noir Suede – Deep, warm, and undeniably intriguing—this scent balances the richness of suede with the smooth depth of sandalwood. A little bit bold, a little bit mysterious, it’s the perfect mix of effortless cool and irresistible charm. 

Hand-poured with renewable plant-based wax, this candle burns for 40 hours—which is exactly how long you once spent trying to decode the Sucks to Be You video.

And when the wax is gone? The candlecup sticks around for storing small keepsakes—like your Prozzäk CD, the heart you wore on your sleeve in 2001, or the deep, unanswered question of whether Simon ever found love.

Features:

✔ Two signature scents: Vanilla Coconut or Noir Suede (much like a Prozzäk music video we like options)
✔ Renewable plant-based wax—because unlike Simon’s quest for love, this candle actually has a happy ending.
✔ 40 hours of burn time—which is significantly longer than it took you to realize that Prozzäk was just the guys from The Philosopher Kings.

Pro-tip: Gift this to the friend who still hums Strange Disease unironically, or keep it for yourself, because whether you’re revisiting your animated emotional damage or just reminiscing about one of the weirdest (and best) Canadian pop acts of all time, you deserve to bask in the glow of Prozzäk.

Light it up, and let This Candle Smells Like Prozzäk transport you back to a time when love was tragic, beats were European, and two cartoon men somehow had more emotional depth than most real people.