At VOODEED.com, we tackle only the most critical issues facing humanity.

Global warming? Boring.
The economy? Snooze.
Penis sizes by country?
NOW we’re talking.

Whether you're curious, competitive, or just procrastinating on something important (hi, same), we've whipped up a highly scientific rundown of who's swinging the biggest batons—and who’s, well, just working with a shorter stick.

Important disclaimer: It's not the size of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean—or some other comforting lie we all tell ourselves.
Anyway. Here’s what the world’s packing.

🌎 The 10 Countries With the Biggest Average Penis Sizes (from 10 to 1)

10. Venezuela – 6.7 inches
¡Ay, caramba! Things are big in Venezuela—and we’re not just talking about the Angel Falls waterfall.

9. Cameroon – 6.8 inches
Insert obligatory "thick jungle" joke here.

8. Sudan – 6.8 inches
Sudan: where even the stats are looking pretty proud.

7. Bolivia – 6.9 inches
It’s not just the altitude that’s high in Bolivia.

6. Cuba – 6.9 inches
Turns out Cuba’s got more than cigars worth admiring.

5. Netherlands – 6.9 inches
We always knew those guys on the bikes were carrying... something.

4. Haiti – 7.0 inches
Blessed in rhythm, blessed in size.

3. Senegal – 7.1 inches
Senegal is not here to play small.

2. Ecuador – 7.4 inches
Ecuador said, "Let's overachieve," and honestly? Respect.

1. Congo (Republic of the Congo) – 7.6 inches
Champions of the world! Gold medal for the Republic of the Congo. May all your pants be stretchy.

🐜 The 10 Countries With the Smallest Average Penis Sizes (from 10 to 1)

10. Pakistan – 4.1 inches
It’s not about size—it’s about being diplomatic.

9. Japan – 4.0 inches
Masters of technology. Less so in the pants department. It happens!

8. Sri Lanka – 4.0 inches
Beautiful beaches, modest breeches.

7. Philippines – 4.0 inches
It’s called "fun-sized" for a reason.

6. Hong Kong – 4.0 inches
Big finance. Small... dividends.

5. Bangladesh – 3.9 inches
Low-key, low-rise.

4. Thailand – 3.8 inches
What they lack in length, they make up for in excellent street food.

3. Vietnam – 3.8 inches
Small but mighty! And honestly, still probably better than your last Tinder date.

2. Cambodia – 3.7 inches
Short kings rise up.

1. North Korea – 3.6 inches
Listen, it’s literally the least of their problems.

So, What’s the Moral of the Story?

No matter where you're from, how you measure up, or what your ruler says:
Confidence is hotter than centimeters.

And if all else fails, buy a VOODEED candle, light it, and manifest yourself a big dick energy glow-up. 🔥